Christmas Countdown 2017 : D-2


***

"It's only 5 dollars, it's part of the promo," I said to one of customers. She smiled a little and thanked me after that. She sat on the sofa which was located on the corner of the cafe while her friend (kind of her boyfriend) was waiting for her. They talked about stuffs after that, and it made me missing Alicia even more.

It had been 2 weeks since we never met. She was kind of busy. She moved on the southern part of the city while I was on the northern. She got a scholarship on a university there and she took it, and I was happy for her. But of course sometimes I missed her. It took about 2 hours or so for us to meet, so it was kind of hard to find a right time just to talk about a thing or two knowing we had our own business.

Talking about relationship, we've committed that we won't take anything too far. Considering that we're still young, I and Alicia decided to focus on what we dream first. Yeah, but despite of everything, I love her. I do love her.

It was 7.00 pm, time to change our shift. I got an evening shift so I could go and continue doing papers I got to finish tomorrow. Well, I couldn't avoid that being a graduate program student is so much harder than I used to think. We were rarely listening to lecture but we got lots of papers to do. To be honest, I'm not the one who is easy to complain but this is so damn tiring. I know that I should've not taken part time job if I don't have enough time, but well, living in a big city like New York isn't easy. Everything is expensive right here, and if I want to survive I gotta work hard at least to get some income to fulfill my own daily life's needs.

I walked back home, it was so cold. I wore my thick jacket and beanie. Well, I do love snow, but sometimes it kills you. The weather was -3 celcius that day, and it was so cold. I tried to get back home as soon as I can. Thank God cause my apartment located near Starbucks where I work. As I got home, I changed my clothes and wore sweater. I tried to warm my body by drinking hot chocolate, and I opened my laptop. I got a practical project that day. Although drawing is my favorite, I believed that I would draw til night to finish that project. I also prepared a cup of coffee next to the hot chocolate I've made, just in case I got so sleepy all of sudden. 

I drew til 8.30 pm and I was already sleepy that time. I tried to refresh my mind by opening my phone. I checked all the messages I've got, it was lots of messages. But unfortunately, none of them was Alicia's, even one. In the time like that, I got to be honest that I needed her. I was stucked and drowned inside these papers and I did really tired. I needed someone to cheer me up, and it was kinda sad knowing that Alicia wasn't there for me. I was a bit disappointed, then I decided to call her.

It took 5 phone rings for her to pick up my call. And it sounded like she was also tired.

"What's going on, Logan?" she asked me with her special southern accent. I smiled a little knowing she was okay.

"Nope, I'm just a bit tired. Doing some papers and stuffs, you know," I said to her. We talked about our own business for the first one minute til I decided to ask, "Where have you been anyway?" 

"Where I have been?" she asked me, sounded like a little bit shocked, "I'm here in my apartment doing my task."

"Can we just take a little break and talk a thing or two about life? I just need a break," I asked to her. She didn't answer for few minutes, and I still waited for her. 

The air was getting colder, I could feel it right now. The fact that there was no fireplace inside my apartment killed me to death. I was dying in cold.

"Alicia?" I asked her, making sure that she was still there. 

"Um, yeah?" She was kinda shock, "Sorry I am still doing my task. I can't hear you."

Somehow it broke my heart knowing that she didn't care. I knew that she was busy, but knowing that she didn't care? It hurted me.

"Can we just take a little break from our task and talking about stuffs?" I asked her again. I have to confess that I'm a sensitive person. For a boy like me, sometimes I feel so weak knowing that I'm a bit sensitive. 

"Sorry, Logan but I have to finish this one real soon," she answered. I was disappointed. Like what I said before, I'm sensitive. 

I just waited for a minute or two, kinda didn't know what to do, but I just wanted to talk to her and she wasn't there. 

I tried once again, "Can we talk?" It was quiet for few seconds and she said, "I'm so sorry darling but I got to finish it real soon."

"Well me too, but I just wanted to talk about stuffs, can't you just spare some of your time talking to me?" And suddenly she ended my phone call.

It hurted me so bad.

I was shocked for few minutes. I meant, I was also thinking whether I acted too much as a boy or what, and I thought about a lot of things. 

It was already 8.30 pm and it seemed like I had started nothing. I just sketched few lines on the editing program, meanwhile I still got some more to do. I was kind of stressed out and I couldn't focus. I wasn't in mood doing my task, and then suddenly I slept.

The morning came. It was 6.30 am. I was shocked to death knowing that I hadn't done anything yet meanwhile I got a class on 7.00 am. I took a bath as soon as possible and I ran on the way to the campus with laptop in my hand. I decided to do my task on the campus' library after finishing my first class, but it was all chaotic after knowing my friend had already done all of their tasks. I couldn't be focus, and I was scared to death until I had no idea what drawings I should draw.

"You haven't done your work?" Some of my friend asked me. I didn't want to be arrogant, but I'd always been the best in my class. Knowing my friends had done lots in front of me afterwards, it made me feel so inferior. I lost my confidence, and I decided to go back to my apartment. I just couldn't think anymore. 

I never thought that such a thing could change you into a person you didn't want to be. And it happened to me. 

It was 10 day before Christmas, the last day of classes. The sky turned so blue and everything looked so cold. 

And it was just looked like you. Cause everything was so chaotic.

***

Christmas Countdown is the author's seried-stories that written annualy every christmas since 2015. Has been abandoned since 2017, the author decided to repost it on her blog in order to keep it organized, both for the author and the audiences (if any).
The original story was published on author's line post on December 23, 2017.

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