Elixir: [Track 6] Used to Me
Track 6 : Used to Me - Luke Chiang
Author : Maria Sekar | Editor : Brigitta Kalina
Alex Miller’s Point of View
“Been a while since someone made me feel this way
Been a while since someone made me feel okay.”
Selena's party was pretty fun. The house itself was very nice to look at—wouldn't expect less from an interior designer—and there were just so many people: our friends from the office, Selena's neighbors, and some of her relatives who also lived in Silicon Valley. Also, the food was superb as Selena's husband was a chef.
The partygoers were mostly inside the house, but the supper was served in the backyard. Selena had set a large picnic table and some picnic blankets for us. There were quite a lot of trees and fairy lights were hung above us, making the place prettier.
Logan and I sat side by side on one of the picnic blankets, sharing the space with Selena's twin cousins. We talked about a lot of things: their jobs at a game company, canoeing at the Vasona Lake County Park, our pets, and the super-tasty tacos we were eating. After 20 minutes of talking, I realized one person was surprisingly talkative tonight: Logan.
I quietly observed him for a while. He was now talking cheerily about living in Sydney, which I found weird. Well, it wasn't like I had known him for that long—but from the first time we met, and from the stories he told me, I could see that he was not usually this comfortable around people, especially ones he had never met before. That was why I had offered to do most of the talking so he wouldn't feel pressured to engage in the conversations. But there he was, doing the exact opposite.
Logan did glance at me a few times earlier when we had just arrived at the party. He hadn’t said anything, but I knew from his nervous expression he had meant to say Help. Do I really need to do this? I had nodded as a reply and whispered, “You’ll be just fine. You’re a good person, and that’s enough to make people like you.” I thought he would just be less awkward around people and talk more after that. I didn't expect him to be this friendly.
From experience I could safely say that if a usually quiet person suddenly talks a lot, they must be really nervous—or hiding something. Did something happen to him when I was talking to the others? Or maybe he noticed something I didn't? Or maybe … could it be that he was missing his ex? He did call me Alicia earlier.
My brain’s first reaction when Logan confused me with his ex had been Well this is awkward. But then it quickly changed to questions: did I look that much alike with this Alicia? Or did I accidentally reopen his old wounds somehow? Whatever it was, I could see that it might have made him uncomfortable enough to be unusually friendly.
I waited for the twins to refill their drinks, then I turned to Logan. "Is everything okay?" I asked him.
"Huh?" Logan looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I noticed you were being so friendly tonight,” I said. “Um, it’s not that I’m suggesting you shouldn’t—but I have noticed sometimes people behave like this when they were uncomfortable. I just want to make sure you’re okay, since I was the one asking you to come here in the first place.”
“I assure you, I am completely fine.” He smiled. “I’m even starting to enjoy this party! Turns out going out of my comfort zone and being the one to start a conversation is really fun. Well, it is quite taxing, but hearing different stories from a lot of people makes it worth the energy.”
“Really?” I exhaled, relieved. “I’m glad you’re having fun.”
“Well, it’s all thanks to you, Alex,” he said, looking straight into my eyes. His face was very serious, but his eyes were gentle. “This might sound weird, but … you said I inspired you to explore more, right? I guess you have the same effect on me … because you make me want to explore myself more.”
“I do?” I asked, surprised. I didn’t expect Logan to say something like this. “But I haven’t done anything. I mean, we just talked and ate tasty food and went canoeing and I didn’t find any of them life-changing.”
“I also didn’t do anything, yet you still told me I inspire you.” Logan gave me a small laugh. “You don’t need to do anything, Alex. Even just knowing you encourages me to challenge myself. You’re one of the kindest, friendliest people I know, and I am so grateful to be your friend.”
“That’s ….” I was at loss for words. “That was probably the nicest thing anyone had said to me.”
“Then I should probably say those kinds of things more often, then. You deserve hearing nice things about your wonderful self.”
I noticed Logan’s ears were a little bit red—he must not used to be this open with people. I was glad he trusted me enough to start opening up, though. He could use the extra pair of ears—and I could finally find a friend. A good one, at that.
It wasn’t like Selena, Katie, and the others are not my good friends. They were always nice to me, too, and I loved them … but Logan was different. He wasn’t just nice and kind. Logan always saw the best in me, and somehow he managed to make me want to try and experience new things. I conquered my fear of water earlier today, and he had also shown me how to be more spontaneous. I had just known him for only one week, yet he had brought out another side of me I hadn’t even known I had before.
I couldn’t help but smile and raised my glass. “Well, here’s to more days of being friends and complimenting each other, I guess.”
Logan clinked his glass to mine. “Cheers!”
The rest of the party were mostly normal, aside from Logan socializing a lot more and a little treasure hunt game. We got cupcakes in an oven-shaped box as party favors, and then we bid Selena goodbye at 10.
We were walking to Logan’s car when he yawned. “Boy, I didn’t realize that being social requires this much energy.”
I noticed a smile forming on his lips. “But you enjoyed it, didn’t you?”
“I did.” Logan yawned again. “Will definitely do it again, just not tonight.”
“You’re clearly tired. Is it okay for you to drive home?” I asked. “We can find a place for you to rest for a while first. Should we search for a diner and have some nice coffee?”
“No, it’s okay. It’s just a thirty-minute drive to San Jose ….” He stifled another yawn. “Just … will you keep talking with me while I’m driving? I need to keep thinking of something to stay focused.”
“Of course. But promise me you’ll stop when you feel too tired.”
“Okay,” he promised as we entered his car.
I really loved talking with people, so it wasn’t hard for me to come with a conversation idea. When Logan was still starting the car, I already asked him, “How about we play a game?”
“What game?” Logan asked me back as he set the music and air conditioner. “Can I still play while driving?”
“Of course! I wouldn’t recommend it if you can’t.” I fastened my seatbelt. “It’s called ‘twenty facts about you’.”
Logan laughed. “Ah, I see where this is going. But is thirty minutes enough for forty facts?”
“I don’t know. How about we try ten facts each first then we see if we still have time?”
“Agreed. So who’s first?” Logan asked as we were leaving Selena’s neighborhood. “We can take turns, in case there’s just enough time for less than ten facts for each person.”
“Okay. I’m feeling generous tonight, so why don’t you go first?”
“Hmm, okay.” Logan looked like he was thinking hard. “Fact number one. I really love mochaccinos.”
“Ah, yes, I remember you mentioned it last week when we met at the lobby!” I laughed.
Logan looked surprised. “Huh? Did I say it out loud? Aww man, it was supposed to stay in my head. It’s embarrassing.”
“I think it was adorable, though,” I said honestly. “My favorite coffee is skinny vanilla latte. I think it’s just fair if you know my favorite, too.”
“Skinny vanilla latte,” Logan repeated. “Hmm. You’re only telling me this so I can treat you to it, aren’t you?”
Logan making a joke? Well this was new. In the time I knew him—which was just one week, to be fair—he had never told a single joke. We had always conversed politely and encouraged or complimented each other. This was not the first time for him to open up to me, but I think this was the first time I saw him so … carefree. So casual.
Was he still trying to be friendlier towards people? But he already said he was tired. Did this mean … he already considered me a friend-who-is-not-tiring-to-talk-to?
I smiled and pushed his shoulders playfully. “Yes, and I expect some at my studio next Monday. Nine AM sharp.”
Logan laughed while pushing my hands back. “Hey, no disturbing the driver!”
“Haha, okay! Now fact number two.”
“I have a Spotify playlist called My Pastime is Listening to the Past. The songs—well, you can guess it from the playlist name.” Logan shrugged. “It’s so weird, I know. I guess I was just trying to be poetic, but I just don’t have the talent.”
“Well, I have a playlist named Old But Gold. Now who’s worse in naming Spotify playlists?!”
“Still me, haha!” Logan laughed. “You did use an overused quote, but I was trying too hard with the title.”
I laughed. I really liked this side of Logan. "Okay, fact number three?"
“I had always wanted a part-time job at Starbucks.”
“That’s … oddly specific.”
“It is. I didn’t know what my fourteen-year-old self was thinking. I finally did work there, though, when I was still studying in New York.” Logan laughed. “Now your fact.”
We continued exchanging facts about ourselves in the next 25 minutes. It wasn’t very long, and we didn’t exchange that many facts, but I felt like I’d known Logan far better. I knew that he loved NCIS and Suburgatory, and that he had been so awkward with people to the point that he tried to start a conversation with ‘what a shiny day’ (and then it rained hard). He was a bit nerdy, but in a good way. Tonight he managed to get out from his comfort zone, though, and I admired him for that.
Time went by so fast when you were with a good companion. Suddenly we were in front of my apartment—I didn’t even realize that it had been half an hour.
“Ah, we’ve arrived,” Logan said while pulling over. “Thank you for keeping my mind preoccupied so I can drive us home safely.”
“And thank you for today’s trip! I really had fun.” I replied as I got out of the car. “Text me when you’re home? I want to make sure you don’t stop in the middle of the road because you fall asleep.”
Logan laughed. “I’m sure it won’t happen, but yeah, I’ll text you later. Good night, Alex.”
“Night, Logan.”
I watched as his car disappeared down the road, then I got into my apartment. I cleaned up a little and prepared to go to bed, checking my phone every 5 minutes to see if there were any texts from Logan. A text came in right when I finished changing into my pajamas.
I’m home safe and ready to sleep now. Nice dteand alez
I giggled. He had to have been typing with his eyes closed. I typed a reply, Nice dreams, Logan.
I slept with a smile on my face that night.
***
Today was Sunday, so it was Bring Dobby to Dog Park day. I had set an alarm in my phone for 7 AM, and I had just turned it off when my phone vibrated again, three times.
Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! I swiped on the lockscreen and read the notifications: 3 unread messages from Logan Cleverly.
Huh. I wondered what it was …. I opened them and read.
Morning, Alex.
I know it’s not Monday yet but here you go:
Logan Cleverly sent a picture.
I laughed. It was a picture of steaming vanilla latte; he remembered our game last night. I typed a reply, You're surprisingly weird. Thanks for the latte, anyway.
Bzzt! Another text from Logan.
Yes I am weird. You'd better get used to it cuz we'll still be friends for a long time :p or co-workers, whatever you prefer.
Friends sounds good, I replied. Fair warning: be prepared for a lot of cat memes with no context.
Logan replied, It's okay, I love cats. He attached a sad cat meme with his thumbs up.
Cool! I replied. Let me know if you have new cat pictures, I collect them.
Two minutes later Logan sent a zip file titled ‘cat pics’.
I laughed again. If this was what being friends with Logan looked like, I could really get used to it.
***
“Say the word and I'll be on the way
If you need me I'll be here to stay
Just don't stay up too late
But if you find yourself awake at 2 am
You can call me up it doesn't matter when
Not gonna lie to you I'll be here anytime.”
I really love thissss.... where can I find more parts of this?
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