If Only


If only I knew that this is how it all goes
If only I knew that all those words mean nothing
If only all those things weren’t happening
If only I could recognize the truth

I would run, and run, and not fly like I used to
I would carry all the feelings, to the ocean of my stupidness
I would not let those things happen
I wouldn’t let you do all the things

If only I’m not that dumb
If only I’m listening to my own voice
If only  I wasn’t touched with those games
If only prefering my brain than heart is my only choice

I shouldn’t have to hide the truth
I shouldn’t have to impress
I shouldn’t have to lie
I shouldn’t have to beg for nothing

If only we never met
If only you decided not to know me
If only I didn’t answer
If only I didn’t say yes

I would never hope for surprises
I would never ask for presents
I would never expect something sweet
I would not regret all the things, indeed 
I’m not going to blame
But if only I knew
Is it only me
Or do you feel it too?




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