How I Get Into University
HELLO MY FRIENDS!!!
Back then when I was a newbie as a 12th grader, I remembered I was struggling on choosing both the major and the university I will choose for continuing my study. Like what I said on the previous The Writer's Diary, I was confused choosing between these majors : International Relations, Psychology, and Communication Science. I was actually a Science Student, but yeah, I decided to focus on social studies after this (though I didn't learn it on high school, but I got some social subjects too actually such as history, economics, and geography). Students on my school itself, we had already been informed about the steps of universities enrollment, especially for public universities in Indonesia. Yeah, because here in Indonesia, being a public university student is such a pride for us to have. Public universities in Indonesia dominate big 10 of best universities in my country, even the best university is always public university. That's why thousands of students in Indonesia will do everything that we should take to get into those public universities, especially top-ranked universities in Indonesia, and me too. I really wanted to get into the public universities since junior high school, that was why I decided to get into a public high school too. Why? Because most of public high school students mostly also want to be accepted in top-ranked public university, so the school itself always provide enough (even more than enough) information about the universities' intakes.
Well, basically there are 3 intakes to get into the public universities. SNMPTN (Seleksi Nasional Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri) is basically the easiest and the most mysterious way. So here we just actually need to send our report (and also our achievements) to the system that has been created by the national committee. We just need to wait and see about the result, and if we're accepted, we're the luckiest person in the world because we don't need to take the writing test (SBMPTN). Nah, the difference between entering the public and private high school is here. In public high school, we are socialized more about the tact to get through the top universities. We were told about the factors that affect our result on getting that golden ticket. One of them is also about the track records of my school alumnees. It was like how many alumnus who were also accepted through SNMPTN into the major in the university I will choose. My school itself had already created a lot of amazing alumnus who made their cut to get into top universities in Indonesia, and it helps a lot actually. But actually to be accepted through this intake itself is such a mystery. It is even hard nowadays to predict whether a person could be accepted or not because there are also a lot of "X" factor. And like what other people might say right now, to be accepted through SNMPTN itself is like winning a lottery. It is a thing you can't predict, and when you win it, it is like a miracle, and you can't rely on this one.
The next intake is SBMPTN (Seleksi Bersama Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri). On the simplest term, it is like writing test that has been made by the national committee for the students all around Indonesia as the process of selection to get into public universities. One thing you should know about this test is that it is not like the National Exam, it is so much harder. The type of the question are way different. It needs tact to do it so you can pass. Studying a day won't be enough considering the quality of the questions and also the competitors who are not only students who graduated the same year as me but also 1 even 2 years before us (even they sacrifice 1 or 2 years of their life to take a gap year and focus on studying for this test). The test itself is contained of TPA and also science / social studies. And, there are no such clear guides about the type of the question. So, the question can basically..... everything about the subject. Each subject contained 15 questions. For the example for the history subject there are only 15 questions, and you have to study all the materials of history if you want to make it cause you basically have no idea what the questions are about. The only thing you know is that all 15 questions are about... the history! It can be both Indonesian or International History. As simple as that. And if you want to pass you have to study real hard, cause it needs a lot of exercises to be used to doing SBMPTN test.
The last one is each universities' test. It is last a really last step you could do to get into the public universities. Basically it is like SBMPTN but it is not held for the national range but it is independently from the university.
I would also like to remind you that there are thousands of registrants who fight over for only 100 quotas (maximum) for each major in university. It is insane I know.
I had already been told about these intakes and also all the consequences and the overcomes since I was on the 1st grade. All I can do is basically to maximize my report score on 5 semesters. It was not easy considering I joined a lot of organizations and activities, and even actually on my 5th semester, I got my score to increase, but my rank was actually decreasing because everyone was competing on the 5th semester. Yes, the competition was that tight. It was insane like what I said before.
Actually on my 5th semester, I really confused. I wanted to focus on maximizing my score on the report so I could be accepted through SNMPTN. But in the other side, I also had to prepare for SBMPTN since I couldn't really rely on SNMPTN. Even back then I still confused with the major I would choose later, but I had already decided to choose International Relation as my 1st choice, but I still wasn't sure about the 2nd and 3rd choice. I could say that entering International Relation is not that easy. It has a really high passing grade which means you must have a really great score (and also special achievements for snm) if you want to be accepted. It also has a lot of enthusiasts, especially if you want to get into a really top universities like University of Gadjah Mada, University of Indonesia, University of Padjajaran, etc. Moreover, if in the end I stil have to do sbm it means I have to study social subjects from the beginning, and it was not that easy. I still wasn't sure with that choice considering it will be tough for me.
I remembered back then on January in the beginning I had a kind of celebration with the AKSEN Committee and one of my friend told me that she had already prepared for SBMPTN. By chance, she was also a student of science program as me, and she also chose the same major and university as I did. And the worst part was, we had tryout for sbm together one time, and her score was way higher than me. I was shocked, I was scared, and damn I felt like I was already behind that time. Fortunately, she was a really kind girl. She gave me some tips and unconsciously she motivated me to start studying about social subjects. Day after that I bought a book (it was a really big and thick book). On the 6th semester, the class itself wasn't that intense like the previous semester, we focused more on exams. So, since exams didn't really determine whether I will graduate or not (only report and USBN, UN wasn't count), I finally decided to bring that big book to my school everyday. I put it on my desk's drawer and I always try to find a time to read and study about social in order to prepare for sbm under the table. Even sometimes I put it on the desk (as long as the teacher didn't really notice). I read one by one especially subjects I hadn't ever learned for the past 2,5 years. I also joined some tryouts in order to get used to doing sbm. Even this habit was finally imitated by some of my classmates. I was happy it could also motivate them.
And then, the first part of the intake. The announcement of whether or not you got a recommendation for registering snmptn. To be honest I was a bit optimistic for the very first time considering about my rank and my score (I'm just being honest ok). But then when the time to open the anouncement came, I had no braveness to open it up, especially a friend of mine told me that she wasn't recommended although she was on the big 5 of her class. Damn, I was so nervous opening the web that time. I remembered I also had a tryout in my school and we had like a preparation class before that, and I wasn't calm down at all. Moreover, the server was crowded that time, I had trouble opening up my account on the web. It was so frustrating. But finally, in the middle of the english class, I had finally suceeded to open up my account and thank God I got a recommendation. I couldn't stop to thank God after that, although at that time I thought that it was something that I had already predicted - or in an ungrateful term - it was an usual thing although I was also nervous.
Few days after that, I had to decide the major and the university I want to choose. In snmptn, we were given 3 slots of choices with several rules. With several reasons, my family asked me to choose University of Gadjah Mada as the priority since it is the 1st rank university in Indonesia and it is also not far from home, in Yogyakarta. Okay, and then the problem came, I didn't know which major I would choose beside International Relations. Of course it would be so risky if I only chose 1 choice. My parents gave me several ideas of majors that might fit me. Psychology was one of the strongest choice, but me myself, I was not sure back then. It happened because I thought that if in the end I will be accepted there, I will not be as happy as I will in International Relations. My father also did some research that made me doubting about choosing this major. I also turned out on the idea of choosing Business and Management in the last minute, but since the competitors from my school who chose that major had higher score than me, I didn't want to sacrifice my chance. But how if I only chose UGM's International Relations? The possibility was 50-50 actually. I got like the highest score between my friends from my school who also chose IR, but they were all social program students. The counselling teachers kept telling us that those who chose social studies and they were from science class, their score will be converted lower by the system on the snmptn, and if so my score would be the lowest. Moreover, one of the alumnus who also chose UGM's IR last year decided not to take the ticket although she had already been accepted through snmptn. And there is a rule in snmptn that if you don't take the ticket university had given to you, your school will be blacklisted and your junior won't get the ticket again later because the university felt like it had been betrayed by the school. I got dilemma for days actually.
And the last minutes of choosing major for snmptn came, and I finally only chose International Relations on University of Gadjah Mada, only that. Even I didn't sure with my choice, but I kept on telling myself that it is okay if I'm not accepted through snmptn. I had to work harder, of course.
That was why I also focused on studying sbmptn afterwards. I still read that heavy book, joined extra classes on my course, joined tryouts, made a kind of study-group, etc. The most important thing was that I kept on telling myself that to be accepted through snmptn is like winning a lottery, it is a luck. A huge luck.
As my backup plan, I also decided to enroll for scholarships. I had already registered for 3 scholarship actually : The Ancora Khazanah Foundation Scholarship (Malaysia), Mitsui Bussan Scholarship (Japan), and Chinese Government Scholarship (China). I actually wanted to study abroad since I was little, it was a big dream of mine. But, studying overseas turned out to be complicated thing afterwards. There are a lot of considerations that we have to be prepared because everything will be so different knowing studying abroad means that we are really apart from home. Because of that reasons, I finally decided not to take studying abroad as my priority in continuing my study for getting bachelor degree. But, I still registered these scholarship to be prepared if later I won't be accepted in Indonesia's top public universities. Actually preparing for these scholarship also wasted so much time. So many people told me that preparing all the documents needed were simple. WELL, IT WAS NOT AT ALL :') I gotta be back and forth going to the administration room, facing such unkind officers, I gotta make such long essay which was not that easy, I gotta take a medical test which was also costed much, even I had to beg for being able to get a spot for taking TOEFL test even I only prepared it like 3 days :'') I remembered some of my friends were also wanted to register for these scholarship, but then they burried that idea knowing that to prepare those requirements needed such a really big effort and sacrifices - even I prepared it in the middle of USBN which was the test that determines whether I will be graduated or not. It was complicated. Anyways, for the Ancora-Khazanah Foundation Scholarship I was not accepted lol knowing that only 1 of my schoolmate accepted for the next round. For the Mitsui Bussan I got a call for a test (which was only few of the applicants chosen) in Jakarta 4 days after the announcement of snmptn. For Chinese Government Scholarship, actually the chance to be accepted is big, but the announcement is still in July or August - such a long wait :')
By the way, day by day came, and even I kind of abandoned my National Exam stuffs to study sbmptn. One week before national examination, I still studied and joined extra classes for studying social subjects for sbmptn, although I hadn't prepared much for the National Exam. I finally focused for studying NE like 4 or 5 days before NE, and it such a burden for me especially for Physics. For your information, National Exam will not affect whether you will be graduated or not - in the end it was like an evaluation. Yeah, I know it was important too, but I still thought about materials for sbmptn actually. And I was not the only one, even lotsssss of my friends came with the idea of abandoning their National Exam and only focused on studying sbmptn because what they thought was only to be accepted in the major and university they wanted.
After finishing my National Exam, I was breathing for a while. National Exam was hard. Well actually - unlike what you read on the news nowadays - the only subject I believed I could get a good score at was math. Physics? HAHA don't ask me kay. But it was not the thing anyway, the next day I came to the social class on my course and kept on studying for sbmptn. Well, to be honest, deep in my heart, I was still hoping that I could be accepted. I kept on thinking about the worst scenario, what should I do if I won't be accepted? How if the web showed the red color? Have I ready to be rejected yet? I had no idea about what should I do, and even I didn't want to open the announcement actually. But, I've promised myself not to cry. And if I do, it should only last for a day, and the next day I should focus on studying for sbmptn.
It was April 17th, 2017. I remembered studying on GO from 11 am to 4 pm. I got my face pale all day long, thinking that 5 pm is the announcement time! I was panicked in the morning so I decided to go to GO to forget about it even just for a while. 4 pm I gotta go home but my mother had not picked me up yet; and I was getting nervous. Even looking for a clock scared me, knowing that the result will be announced soon. I opened up the online bible (which was not me in usual :''') and I read several verses about fear. I took a deep breath, reading those verses, and I was kind of surrendering all of the result to God who had prepared the best plan for me. At that time, only half of an hour before the announcement, I finally surrendered it all to God for I couldn't do a thing but Him.
My mother finally picked me up, and I got home. It was a quarter before 5, and I decided to take a shower first before opening up the announcement. I was on pins and needles. I waited for my father to come home because me myself, I felt like I couldn't bear to open it up. It was already 5 but my father hadn't arrived yet. My mother was also nervous. We were all nervous actually. Meanwhile, some of my friends told me that they were not accepted. Only a little who announced that they are accepted. It made me nervous even more that I didn't want to open up my phone again cause it made me more nervous.
When finally my father came, the laptop and its charger were already prepared on the family room. We opened the website. I remembered my hands were shaking typing the registration number and my birth date. And damn, the registration number was WRONG! I was so panicked that I decided to open up my phone. And it was a kind of confusing seeing the words 'congratulations, Lin!' from Line's pop up. But I couldn't think that time so I decided to ran towards my room which was upstairs, searching for the registration card hurrily, and I went downstairs. I typed the registration number and birth date once again, lastly making sure that all the numbers were right. Then I clicked enter.
And............
The green screen popped up right in front of me.
"Selamat, anda dinyatakan lulus SNMPTN 2018 pada :
Jurusan : Ilmu Hubungan Internasional
di Universitas Gadjah Mada"
"Congratulations, you are accepted through SNMPTN 2018 at :
Major : International Relations
at The University of Gadjah Mada"
I WAS SCREAMED "Aaaaaaaaa yah bukkk aku loloossssss!!!!" or "Aaaaa Mom Dad I am accepted!!!!!"
It turned out that my GO teacher had opened the announcement and announced it on the group. My friends congratulated me, and I hadn't even opened it up yet =))
I remembered 3 of us (Me, my mother, and my father) were directly hugging each other. I was crying and I just couldn't stop to do it. While crying, we were then praying together. Thanking God for His blessing toward me. I was praying in words while crying, and I could hear my mom and dad were also crying. It was the best moment of my whole life. My mom and dad congratulated me and they said that they were so proud of me. They hugged me a lot of times, and I kept on crying, thanking them for always praying for me. It was such a blast.
Only 6 out of 22 of my classmates were accepted through SNMPTN. Only 92 of 400's of my batch were accepted. Only 2 out of 5 of students on my school who registered the same major and university as me were accepted. And only 20s out of thousands applicants who registered International Relations at The University of Gadjah Mada, the place I wanted to be since back then, were accepted through SNMPTN. WHAT A LUCKY HUMAN BEING I AM :')
I finally decided to take the SNMPTN with the major and university that I wanted since back then. I also decided not to take the Mitsui Bussan test knowing that if I didn't take the snm ticket my school will be blacklisted. I felt so beyond happyyyy!
Well, days after that came as the announcement of UN's result being announced. And when I got the result, well...... it was a kind of disappointing. The best score that I got was math (which some students said and protested because it was hard), BUT for the other subjects, it was not satisfying at all. Even for English - which I expected I could get a high one - was so disappointing. Physics? Lol, I had predicted that I got bad one for that. And the total score was pretty bad for me (?) Even I was a kind of asshamed telling it to my friends lol. I also knew that my friends got higher score than I am, even (sorry to say this) usually my score was way higher than them. It was like a checkmate for me, knowing that I usually good at English and was beaten by my friends who usually not as high as I was.
Then again, when the graduation came yesterday, I was also a kind of disappointed to be honest not to be chosen as one of the best students in school. Not being arrogant but I thought I deserved a place there knowing that I also had achievements and even the class of the competition was higher than them who were standing there.
But then I realized....
God has already managed everything perfectly. God gave me His bless to be accepted to the major and univ that I wanted through the snmptn. It could make me so arrogant, of course. So, He reminded me not to be arrogant through those ways. I knew that God is so amazing that He planned everything in order, because He didn't want me to fall on my triumph and forget Him. He didn't want me to be an arrogant girl that everyone hates. He wanted me as I am right now, and I am so grateful for what is already happened to me until right now.
I can't stop thanking God for this amazing grace for me. I am so blessed, and I am so lucky. Thank you for all the supports, all the prayers, and all the things that were given to me. It won't be happened like this without those supports and prayers. Now that I am accepted, and that I am so lucky, I have to keep doing good things and make my surroundings proud of me. I want to keep seing them paint their sweetest smile, looking at me, and say "She is the one I pray for that she becomes like this today, and I am so proud of her."
You have to know the reason behind my unexistance these months before complaining, ok?
Well, I know that it's been monthssssss since the very last time I wrote, hasn't it? It was December if I'm not mistaken, and even I haven't done posting Christmas Countdown lol (well I actually posted on my line account completely, but I promise I'm gonna also post it here asap).
Okay, the conclusion is basically I've abandoned my blog for such a long time and pardon me ok. Please pardon me.
Not gonna write a really long prologue, I'm just gonna start it right now.
So, a lot of things happened actually. I'm a 12th grader right now (oh well I just graduated days days ago yeayyyy). And being a 12th grader is not an easy job to do. I think, this is the most remarkable part of my life. It is both tiring and challenging. It is both draining and triggering your energy. It makes you feel both happy and sad at the same time. In conclusion, being a 12th grader is undescribeable because it unifies all your emotions.
Back then when I was a newbie as a 12th grader, I remembered I was struggling on choosing both the major and the university I will choose for continuing my study. Like what I said on the previous The Writer's Diary, I was confused choosing between these majors : International Relations, Psychology, and Communication Science. I was actually a Science Student, but yeah, I decided to focus on social studies after this (though I didn't learn it on high school, but I got some social subjects too actually such as history, economics, and geography). Students on my school itself, we had already been informed about the steps of universities enrollment, especially for public universities in Indonesia. Yeah, because here in Indonesia, being a public university student is such a pride for us to have. Public universities in Indonesia dominate big 10 of best universities in my country, even the best university is always public university. That's why thousands of students in Indonesia will do everything that we should take to get into those public universities, especially top-ranked universities in Indonesia, and me too. I really wanted to get into the public universities since junior high school, that was why I decided to get into a public high school too. Why? Because most of public high school students mostly also want to be accepted in top-ranked public university, so the school itself always provide enough (even more than enough) information about the universities' intakes.Well, basically there are 3 intakes to get into the public universities. SNMPTN (Seleksi Nasional Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri) is basically the easiest and the most mysterious way. So here we just actually need to send our report (and also our achievements) to the system that has been created by the national committee. We just need to wait and see about the result, and if we're accepted, we're the luckiest person in the world because we don't need to take the writing test (SBMPTN). Nah, the difference between entering the public and private high school is here. In public high school, we are socialized more about the tact to get through the top universities. We were told about the factors that affect our result on getting that golden ticket. One of them is also about the track records of my school alumnees. It was like how many alumnus who were also accepted through SNMPTN into the major in the university I will choose. My school itself had already created a lot of amazing alumnus who made their cut to get into top universities in Indonesia, and it helps a lot actually. But actually to be accepted through this intake itself is such a mystery. It is even hard nowadays to predict whether a person could be accepted or not because there are also a lot of "X" factor. And like what other people might say right now, to be accepted through SNMPTN itself is like winning a lottery. It is a thing you can't predict, and when you win it, it is like a miracle, and you can't rely on this one.
The next intake is SBMPTN (Seleksi Bersama Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri). On the simplest term, it is like writing test that has been made by the national committee for the students all around Indonesia as the process of selection to get into public universities. One thing you should know about this test is that it is not like the National Exam, it is so much harder. The type of the question are way different. It needs tact to do it so you can pass. Studying a day won't be enough considering the quality of the questions and also the competitors who are not only students who graduated the same year as me but also 1 even 2 years before us (even they sacrifice 1 or 2 years of their life to take a gap year and focus on studying for this test). The test itself is contained of TPA and also science / social studies. And, there are no such clear guides about the type of the question. So, the question can basically..... everything about the subject. Each subject contained 15 questions. For the example for the history subject there are only 15 questions, and you have to study all the materials of history if you want to make it cause you basically have no idea what the questions are about. The only thing you know is that all 15 questions are about... the history! It can be both Indonesian or International History. As simple as that. And if you want to pass you have to study real hard, cause it needs a lot of exercises to be used to doing SBMPTN test.
The last one is each universities' test. It is last a really last step you could do to get into the public universities. Basically it is like SBMPTN but it is not held for the national range but it is independently from the university.
I would also like to remind you that there are thousands of registrants who fight over for only 100 quotas (maximum) for each major in university. It is insane I know.
I had already been told about these intakes and also all the consequences and the overcomes since I was on the 1st grade. All I can do is basically to maximize my report score on 5 semesters. It was not easy considering I joined a lot of organizations and activities, and even actually on my 5th semester, I got my score to increase, but my rank was actually decreasing because everyone was competing on the 5th semester. Yes, the competition was that tight. It was insane like what I said before.
Actually on my 5th semester, I really confused. I wanted to focus on maximizing my score on the report so I could be accepted through SNMPTN. But in the other side, I also had to prepare for SBMPTN since I couldn't really rely on SNMPTN. Even back then I still confused with the major I would choose later, but I had already decided to choose International Relation as my 1st choice, but I still wasn't sure about the 2nd and 3rd choice. I could say that entering International Relation is not that easy. It has a really high passing grade which means you must have a really great score (and also special achievements for snm) if you want to be accepted. It also has a lot of enthusiasts, especially if you want to get into a really top universities like University of Gadjah Mada, University of Indonesia, University of Padjajaran, etc. Moreover, if in the end I stil have to do sbm it means I have to study social subjects from the beginning, and it was not that easy. I still wasn't sure with that choice considering it will be tough for me.
I remembered back then on January in the beginning I had a kind of celebration with the AKSEN Committee and one of my friend told me that she had already prepared for SBMPTN. By chance, she was also a student of science program as me, and she also chose the same major and university as I did. And the worst part was, we had tryout for sbm together one time, and her score was way higher than me. I was shocked, I was scared, and damn I felt like I was already behind that time. Fortunately, she was a really kind girl. She gave me some tips and unconsciously she motivated me to start studying about social subjects. Day after that I bought a book (it was a really big and thick book). On the 6th semester, the class itself wasn't that intense like the previous semester, we focused more on exams. So, since exams didn't really determine whether I will graduate or not (only report and USBN, UN wasn't count), I finally decided to bring that big book to my school everyday. I put it on my desk's drawer and I always try to find a time to read and study about social in order to prepare for sbm under the table. Even sometimes I put it on the desk (as long as the teacher didn't really notice). I read one by one especially subjects I hadn't ever learned for the past 2,5 years. I also joined some tryouts in order to get used to doing sbm. Even this habit was finally imitated by some of my classmates. I was happy it could also motivate them.
And then, the first part of the intake. The announcement of whether or not you got a recommendation for registering snmptn. To be honest I was a bit optimistic for the very first time considering about my rank and my score (I'm just being honest ok). But then when the time to open the anouncement came, I had no braveness to open it up, especially a friend of mine told me that she wasn't recommended although she was on the big 5 of her class. Damn, I was so nervous opening the web that time. I remembered I also had a tryout in my school and we had like a preparation class before that, and I wasn't calm down at all. Moreover, the server was crowded that time, I had trouble opening up my account on the web. It was so frustrating. But finally, in the middle of the english class, I had finally suceeded to open up my account and thank God I got a recommendation. I couldn't stop to thank God after that, although at that time I thought that it was something that I had already predicted - or in an ungrateful term - it was an usual thing although I was also nervous.
Few days after that, I had to decide the major and the university I want to choose. In snmptn, we were given 3 slots of choices with several rules. With several reasons, my family asked me to choose University of Gadjah Mada as the priority since it is the 1st rank university in Indonesia and it is also not far from home, in Yogyakarta. Okay, and then the problem came, I didn't know which major I would choose beside International Relations. Of course it would be so risky if I only chose 1 choice. My parents gave me several ideas of majors that might fit me. Psychology was one of the strongest choice, but me myself, I was not sure back then. It happened because I thought that if in the end I will be accepted there, I will not be as happy as I will in International Relations. My father also did some research that made me doubting about choosing this major. I also turned out on the idea of choosing Business and Management in the last minute, but since the competitors from my school who chose that major had higher score than me, I didn't want to sacrifice my chance. But how if I only chose UGM's International Relations? The possibility was 50-50 actually. I got like the highest score between my friends from my school who also chose IR, but they were all social program students. The counselling teachers kept telling us that those who chose social studies and they were from science class, their score will be converted lower by the system on the snmptn, and if so my score would be the lowest. Moreover, one of the alumnus who also chose UGM's IR last year decided not to take the ticket although she had already been accepted through snmptn. And there is a rule in snmptn that if you don't take the ticket university had given to you, your school will be blacklisted and your junior won't get the ticket again later because the university felt like it had been betrayed by the school. I got dilemma for days actually.
And the last minutes of choosing major for snmptn came, and I finally only chose International Relations on University of Gadjah Mada, only that. Even I didn't sure with my choice, but I kept on telling myself that it is okay if I'm not accepted through snmptn. I had to work harder, of course.
That was why I also focused on studying sbmptn afterwards. I still read that heavy book, joined extra classes on my course, joined tryouts, made a kind of study-group, etc. The most important thing was that I kept on telling myself that to be accepted through snmptn is like winning a lottery, it is a luck. A huge luck.
As my backup plan, I also decided to enroll for scholarships. I had already registered for 3 scholarship actually : The Ancora Khazanah Foundation Scholarship (Malaysia), Mitsui Bussan Scholarship (Japan), and Chinese Government Scholarship (China). I actually wanted to study abroad since I was little, it was a big dream of mine. But, studying overseas turned out to be complicated thing afterwards. There are a lot of considerations that we have to be prepared because everything will be so different knowing studying abroad means that we are really apart from home. Because of that reasons, I finally decided not to take studying abroad as my priority in continuing my study for getting bachelor degree. But, I still registered these scholarship to be prepared if later I won't be accepted in Indonesia's top public universities. Actually preparing for these scholarship also wasted so much time. So many people told me that preparing all the documents needed were simple. WELL, IT WAS NOT AT ALL :') I gotta be back and forth going to the administration room, facing such unkind officers, I gotta make such long essay which was not that easy, I gotta take a medical test which was also costed much, even I had to beg for being able to get a spot for taking TOEFL test even I only prepared it like 3 days :'') I remembered some of my friends were also wanted to register for these scholarship, but then they burried that idea knowing that to prepare those requirements needed such a really big effort and sacrifices - even I prepared it in the middle of USBN which was the test that determines whether I will be graduated or not. It was complicated. Anyways, for the Ancora-Khazanah Foundation Scholarship I was not accepted lol knowing that only 1 of my schoolmate accepted for the next round. For the Mitsui Bussan I got a call for a test (which was only few of the applicants chosen) in Jakarta 4 days after the announcement of snmptn. For Chinese Government Scholarship, actually the chance to be accepted is big, but the announcement is still in July or August - such a long wait :')
By the way, day by day came, and even I kind of abandoned my National Exam stuffs to study sbmptn. One week before national examination, I still studied and joined extra classes for studying social subjects for sbmptn, although I hadn't prepared much for the National Exam. I finally focused for studying NE like 4 or 5 days before NE, and it such a burden for me especially for Physics. For your information, National Exam will not affect whether you will be graduated or not - in the end it was like an evaluation. Yeah, I know it was important too, but I still thought about materials for sbmptn actually. And I was not the only one, even lotsssss of my friends came with the idea of abandoning their National Exam and only focused on studying sbmptn because what they thought was only to be accepted in the major and university they wanted.
After finishing my National Exam, I was breathing for a while. National Exam was hard. Well actually - unlike what you read on the news nowadays - the only subject I believed I could get a good score at was math. Physics? HAHA don't ask me kay. But it was not the thing anyway, the next day I came to the social class on my course and kept on studying for sbmptn. Well, to be honest, deep in my heart, I was still hoping that I could be accepted. I kept on thinking about the worst scenario, what should I do if I won't be accepted? How if the web showed the red color? Have I ready to be rejected yet? I had no idea about what should I do, and even I didn't want to open the announcement actually. But, I've promised myself not to cry. And if I do, it should only last for a day, and the next day I should focus on studying for sbmptn.
It was April 17th, 2017. I remembered studying on GO from 11 am to 4 pm. I got my face pale all day long, thinking that 5 pm is the announcement time! I was panicked in the morning so I decided to go to GO to forget about it even just for a while. 4 pm I gotta go home but my mother had not picked me up yet; and I was getting nervous. Even looking for a clock scared me, knowing that the result will be announced soon. I opened up the online bible (which was not me in usual :''') and I read several verses about fear. I took a deep breath, reading those verses, and I was kind of surrendering all of the result to God who had prepared the best plan for me. At that time, only half of an hour before the announcement, I finally surrendered it all to God for I couldn't do a thing but Him.
My mother finally picked me up, and I got home. It was a quarter before 5, and I decided to take a shower first before opening up the announcement. I was on pins and needles. I waited for my father to come home because me myself, I felt like I couldn't bear to open it up. It was already 5 but my father hadn't arrived yet. My mother was also nervous. We were all nervous actually. Meanwhile, some of my friends told me that they were not accepted. Only a little who announced that they are accepted. It made me nervous even more that I didn't want to open up my phone again cause it made me more nervous.
When finally my father came, the laptop and its charger were already prepared on the family room. We opened the website. I remembered my hands were shaking typing the registration number and my birth date. And damn, the registration number was WRONG! I was so panicked that I decided to open up my phone. And it was a kind of confusing seeing the words 'congratulations, Lin!' from Line's pop up. But I couldn't think that time so I decided to ran towards my room which was upstairs, searching for the registration card hurrily, and I went downstairs. I typed the registration number and birth date once again, lastly making sure that all the numbers were right. Then I clicked enter.
And............
The green screen popped up right in front of me.
"Selamat, anda dinyatakan lulus SNMPTN 2018 pada :
Jurusan : Ilmu Hubungan Internasional
di Universitas Gadjah Mada"
"Congratulations, you are accepted through SNMPTN 2018 at :
Major : International Relations
at The University of Gadjah Mada"
I WAS SCREAMED "Aaaaaaaaa yah bukkk aku loloossssss!!!!" or "Aaaaa Mom Dad I am accepted!!!!!"
It turned out that my GO teacher had opened the announcement and announced it on the group. My friends congratulated me, and I hadn't even opened it up yet =))
I remembered 3 of us (Me, my mother, and my father) were directly hugging each other. I was crying and I just couldn't stop to do it. While crying, we were then praying together. Thanking God for His blessing toward me. I was praying in words while crying, and I could hear my mom and dad were also crying. It was the best moment of my whole life. My mom and dad congratulated me and they said that they were so proud of me. They hugged me a lot of times, and I kept on crying, thanking them for always praying for me. It was such a blast.
Only 6 out of 22 of my classmates were accepted through SNMPTN. Only 92 of 400's of my batch were accepted. Only 2 out of 5 of students on my school who registered the same major and university as me were accepted. And only 20s out of thousands applicants who registered International Relations at The University of Gadjah Mada, the place I wanted to be since back then, were accepted through SNMPTN. WHAT A LUCKY HUMAN BEING I AM :')
I finally decided to take the SNMPTN with the major and university that I wanted since back then. I also decided not to take the Mitsui Bussan test knowing that if I didn't take the snm ticket my school will be blacklisted. I felt so beyond happyyyy!
Well, days after that came as the announcement of UN's result being announced. And when I got the result, well...... it was a kind of disappointing. The best score that I got was math (which some students said and protested because it was hard), BUT for the other subjects, it was not satisfying at all. Even for English - which I expected I could get a high one - was so disappointing. Physics? Lol, I had predicted that I got bad one for that. And the total score was pretty bad for me (?) Even I was a kind of asshamed telling it to my friends lol. I also knew that my friends got higher score than I am, even (sorry to say this) usually my score was way higher than them. It was like a checkmate for me, knowing that I usually good at English and was beaten by my friends who usually not as high as I was.
Then again, when the graduation came yesterday, I was also a kind of disappointed to be honest not to be chosen as one of the best students in school. Not being arrogant but I thought I deserved a place there knowing that I also had achievements and even the class of the competition was higher than them who were standing there.
But then I realized....
God has already managed everything perfectly. God gave me His bless to be accepted to the major and univ that I wanted through the snmptn. It could make me so arrogant, of course. So, He reminded me not to be arrogant through those ways. I knew that God is so amazing that He planned everything in order, because He didn't want me to fall on my triumph and forget Him. He didn't want me to be an arrogant girl that everyone hates. He wanted me as I am right now, and I am so grateful for what is already happened to me until right now.
I can't stop thanking God for this amazing grace for me. I am so blessed, and I am so lucky. Thank you for all the supports, all the prayers, and all the things that were given to me. It won't be happened like this without those supports and prayers. Now that I am accepted, and that I am so lucky, I have to keep doing good things and make my surroundings proud of me. I want to keep seing them paint their sweetest smile, looking at me, and say "She is the one I pray for that she becomes like this today, and I am so proud of her."
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