Elixir: [Track 3] Drive Safe
Track 3 : Drive Safe - Rich Brian
Author : Brigitta Kalina | Editor : Maria Sekar
Logan Cleverly’s Point of View
“F*** all the good times, it's a past tense,
I sleep and wake up when the world ends,
Those memories, they so hard to forget,
Question every day, "Are we there yet?",
Gone too far to change, time to get your rollerblades,
That smile is worth the wait, here comes better days.”
***
It was half past one when I asked Alex, that girl I accidentally met in the company party, to go for lunch. Thank God I did the presentation for XP Project very well, I made it! It was a rough one, but thanks to Alex for encouraging me earlier, I was finally able to control my nerves and was confident enough to present the ideas I’d been working on these past weeks. So, yes, this lunch is my thank-you-treat for her––well, actually she preferred to call it an XP Project celebration treat.
I drove Alex to the Chinese restaurant I promised her earlier. It was only 2 blocks from the office, but I decided to go by car because my apartment was in the same direction. As we arrived, Alex looked so fascinated by the architecture of that restaurant.
“It’s just so… Chinese?” she laughed, “I’m not being racist. In fact I liked the oriental style a lot.”
“Well you’ll like it more after you taste the delicacy they made here. It’s one in a million,” I said to her. We ordered Cha-Siu and Bok Choy Beef––my favorites! We also tried Wonton Soup because the picture on the menu seemed very appetizing.
Honestly it was quite awkward at first while we waited for the food to arrive, “Well… how’s life going?” Basic questions, me and my bad social skill all over again.
Alex laughed, “What? Hahaha!”
I also laughed, “I’m so sorry I’m bad at starting a conversation. It feels so awkward, right?”
“That’s fine!” she was still laughing, “people have their own way to start a conversation.”
“Yes, but me myself––I think I’m more like… not into socializing? That’s why I’m always struggling to have a chit-chat with strangers.”
“Ahh! Now I know what was actually happening last night! You’re not in a mood for––”
I cut her, “Kind of but… actually it was nice talking to you, though. I had a really bad day and thoughts and stuff… it was just a lot and… yes, thanks for saying it last night!”
She smiled, “What did I say? I thought it was only a casual chit-chat though! Hahaha…”
“Yes, but it means a lot for the one who’s been getting through a lot,” I said, “well, we can see our differences here––you’re obviously an extrovert who knows how to talk with people while here I am struggling to find topics in order not to make this lunch not so awkward.” We both laughed after that.
As the dishes were ready to serve, we both started to eat. Eating that Wonton Soup was my first experience and it was so damn good. Alex tasted all the three dishes and her face was one of a kind.
“So, how was that?” I put my smile proudly as she finished eating the Bok Choy Beef.
“Well, this is…” she seemed so speechless. “How could you find a place like this in California? I thought California didn’t have such authentic places like this.”
Indeed, Alex was right. Silicon Valley was a home for high-tech companies. You would see sophisticated technologies used in every aspect of life, including restaurants. Fast-food restaurants would be easily found anywhere or people just usually liked to eat in their companies’ canteen which provided more-than-enough dishes for their lunch. On weekends, people preferred to eat at fine-dining restaurants since Silicon Valley had some of the best Michelin-star-restaurants in the US. You would also easily find any cafes which served the best coffees in town—of course, with such modern architecture. In conclusion, Silicon Valley offered you a high-tech-experience you would never forget. The first time I came here, I was also fascinated by the technologies that Silicon Valley offered me in my daily life. But, as I lived here for almost 2 years now, I was more interested in exploring authentic places.
“I guess I just like to explore new things,” I answered, “I remember I was walking down the streets on a weekend and kinda bored with The Hailey’s and McDonald’s. So, I surfed the internet and searched for restaurants nearby, then… voila!”
“Wow, so you’re an… explorer?” she asked.
“Umm… perhaps?” I said, “cause… aren’t you bored with all the sophistication that Silicon Valley offers you everyday?”
“It’s my third month here so I guess… not yet?” she laughed.
“Hahaha, I get it. You’ll see next year.”
“Well… living in Oregon for my whole life. I’ve rarely seen such modernity like Silicon Valley, though. I think that’s one of the reasons that brings me here.”
“Ohhh, so you’re from Oregon?” and then she nodded, “that’s quite far from here.”
“Well, to be precise, I lived in Portland. 10 hours only from here,” said Alex, “but yeah it’s the farthest I’ve ever been.”
“That must be challenging, right?”
“Well, I've lived out of town before when I was in college, but it was only an hour and half from my hometown. So, of course, living on my own this far would be so challenging for me,” she replied. “How about you? Where are you from?”
“Ever heard about Sydney?”
Alex seemed surprised, “Sydney? You mean Sydney in Australia?” I smiled while nodding.
“Seriously? Wow! I’ve never had a foreign friend before!” She looked very excited.
“Well, technically yes. But actually I’ve already lived in the US for almost 4 years.”
“Oh, I see! You studied here?”
“Umm-hmm, but it was in New York, so technically not here.”
She was amazed, “Ah? New York? Oh my God, you’re truly an explorer! Australia, New York, and now California. You’ve traveled a million miles in your life!”
I just smiled when the waiter suddenly came and gave us the check. “As I said, it’s on me,” I said to her.
“Well, once again congratulations for your XP Project. You nailed it!” she smiled.
As I paid for lunch that afternoon, we left the restaurant. It was a nice lunch, though. It felt like I finally knew someone besides Nick in Silicon Valley. Honestly, I didn’t have many friends here––I guess it happened because of me being socially awkward. Hence, acquainting someone like Alex was something for me––besides, she was a pleasant and friendly girl.
“So, what are you gonna do after this?” I asked her as we walked outside the restaurant.
“Hmm… nothing, I guess. I usually spend my weekend by watching Netflix and order pizza for myself,” she laughed.
“Wow, really? An extroverted person like you spends the weekend by yourself?” I was surprised.
“My apartment is my best friend for the weekend,” she said.
“Well…” I said, “talk about me being an explorer, do you want to explore Silicon Valley with me after this?” Somehow these words came out of my mouth. It was spontaneous, though. She was quiet for a while and it was a bit awkward. “Oh, well … hahaha nevermind.” I was ashamed.
“Oh, no no no. That’s cool, I’d love to! Where are we going?” she said.
I smiled that she said yes, “Umm I guess… just get into my car first. We’ll see!” she laughed as we entered my car.
It was almost 4 when I drove her to the west. The streets were not so crowded and the sun was warm. I thought it was the right time to go to the––
“Well… how about you? I’ve told you my stories in the restaurant. What brought you here?” I finally started a conversation in the car.
“It was a long story, though,” she said.
“That’s great cause we’re gonna have a long trip today.”
“Where are we going actually?”
“You’ll like it, believe me,” I said, “and you better tell me your story right now.”
She smiled a little and started to tell me her story, “So I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. A city which was pretty quiet. It was neither as metropolitan as New York nor as modern as Silicon Valley,” she laughed and looked at me for a while. I got why she said so, it was because I’ve lived in both cities she mentioned.
“I heard that Portland was a very pleasant city, right?”
“Yes it is. People there are so nice, we know each other and there are a lot of beautiful places. But you know, it was not as fancy as Silicon Valley. So, I always wanted to find a job in a bigger city since I was a little and yup… here I am. Even though I’m still on probation.”
“Ahhh… I totally get it. And as you get here, how’s Silicon Valley so far for you?”
“Silicon Valley is…. so interesting and so cool! I can’t even imagine a cooler place than Silicon Valley, especially in terms of technology. Even though, yeah, talking about the people, Portland is still the best.”
“I see, I always want to visit Oregon, mainly Portland though. I have a friend from NYU that lived there and he said that Portland people are the nicest.”
“Indeed. In fact, I can’t even find one like them here. I don’t know, maybe because I’m still not used to it. But, yeah, living there for your whole life, you absolutely have a lot of memories with people and places and everything––good and bad memories, of course.”
“That’s interesting, though. I agree with your point. Sydney has its own memories and so does New York.”
“True,” she said and stayed quiet for a while,”but memories are memories, right. We can’t simply get over it only by moving into other cities or countries.”
I was speechless and I looked at her for a second. Once again she said a word that moved me. How could she be so true and relatable? I thought.
“Indeed, memories are memories,” I re-stated her words, “and moving would never really erase that.”
The sun was still shining so brightly that time, but it was not so hot––a right time to visit Santa Cruz beach. I added, “But, well, usually I really like to release all the memories and emotions that I have by seeing clear blue water at the beach.”
She smiled and looked surprised. “You drove me to Santa Cruz?”
I nodded and she said, “Oh, finally! I’ve always wanted to go to Santa Cruz but it was quite far and I have no vehicle that could easily bring me there.”
“It’s only half an hour by car,” I said, “and thanks to me?” She laughed for a moment and then she thanked me. We talked about a lot of stuff afterwards––the office, people (and nerds?) in Silicon Valley, her favorite movies and my favorite netflix series, and of course, the hidden gems I found in California.
We got there by 4.30, but I didn’t park my car in the amusement park like it should be. I stopped my car on one of the cliffs there––the highest spot in Santa Cruz, so we could see the whole scenery from above. It was a deserted place but we could clearly see the sun and the whole amusement park that was full of people at the weekend from that spot.
“I hope you don’t mind but I usually prefer to stop here because I could see the whole scenery so clearly while it was so crowded over there,” I said as I stopped the car.
“This is… the perfect view!” said Alex. “How could you find this place?”
“I guess… exploring?” I laughed and I opened the car’s door. Alex followed me to go outside and she was amazed with the scenery. We stood side by side in front of my car and we just watched the beach from afar, still with our work outfit––me with my formal long shirt and trousers (I had a presentation that day, remember?) and Alex with her casual blouse and skirt. Lucky us we both wore sneakers because it was Saturday––free day to wear our favorite shoes.
“You’ve already been here several times?” she suddenly asked me.
“Yes, probably 5 times as for now,” I answered, “I like this place because it kind of reminds me of Sydney.”
“Ohh, I know that. This is quite similar as the scenery of the Opera House, right?”
“Yes it is,” I smiled and took a deep breath, “I remember I brought someone there to escape and never thought that it was the last time for us to hang out together before she left.”
“Ohhh,” said Alex. Well that must be really awkward for her because I randomly told her my personal story.
“What are you escaping from? And where did she go?” Thanks Alex you really know how to get engaged with a conversation, I thought.
“From reality I guess?” I answered, “the reality that I would never be hers?”
And the situation was getting really awkward, “I’m so sorry to hear that,” those were the only words she could say.
“Hey, no, that’s fine. It was also my fault anyway, so––”
“Your fault?”
“Ummm… yes. I kind of put her in a certain situation that made her leave,” then I remembered about Courtney, “even though she said that she loved me.”
It was silent for a while as I realized why I told my personal story to a person I just knew for two days. “Umm.. I’m sorry I… It’s an old story, nevermind.”
“No, it’s just so funny. It just… it reminds me of the old memories I have back in Portland so I…”
“Oh… really?” I was curious.
“Yes, I had this one ex that dumped me and apparently it affected how I treated my best friend that loved me the whole time.”
“What about him?”
“I was scared of loving again even though I knew I loved him. But on the day he confessed that he loved me, I was too scared to say yes because of the trauma I had back then. And, tragically, on that day, he was gone.”
“Gone? Where?”
“I mean… he’s gone, like, forever.”
I was speechless, “Oh I’m.. I’m so sorry Alex, I didn’t mean to––”
“No, no, that’s… that’s fine…” and then she was silent. “Well… of course that’s not fine but it’s not your fault. So, that’s fine.”
“I’m really sorry, Alex, I really am.” I felt so guilty for trying to bring up the bad memories she had.
It was a fine weekend in Santa Cruz. The skies were clear and the waves were good for surfing. From above, we could see that Santa Cruz Amusement Park was crowded as people liked to wait there until sunset. Sunset in Santa Cruz was around 7 to 8 PM and people liked to wait just by seeing the scenery or playing any rides in the amusement park. I had never visited the Santa Cruz Amusement Park as I always went there by myself. I preferred just watching the scenery from above or going to surf if the waves were okay––and of course if I brought the equipment.
“Do you want to go down there or visit the amusement park or––?”
“No, I preferred here. Besides, I don’t bring any clothes,” Alex said.
And it was silent for quite a while. Is she angry at me or does she think that I’m too strange or––? Those scenarios kept on playing in my mind.
“Hey, Alex. I don’t know whether it’s helpful or not but if you really need someone to talk to, I’ll be willing to listen,” I said to break the silence, “I really understand how it feels when someone suddenly left––even though, of course, losing someone forever is never an easy thing to be perceived.”
“Oh, well… How about your story? How’s your friend––well, crush?––going now?”
“Hahaha… she is married now,” I laughed. “I think she has a great life today, but I’m really happy for her, believe me.”
“That’s cool, tell me what are your tips to move on from her. I do really need it right now,” she laughed a little while saying that.
“It was because of the help of a friend, actually,” I smiled and I remembered Alicia, “well… a friend that unfortunately became my ex-girlfriend after helping me to get through the bad times I had.”
“Ohh… I’m sorry, I––”
“I guess we should stop saying sorry to each other since both of us had our own bad memories.” I laughed realizing how both of us said sorry a lot for hearing each other’s stories.
“Hahaha, I agree! Well, then, how did she leave?”
“I don’t really know why, actually. One day I just wanted to call her and she was busy and things went awkward after that. It was Christmas. And suddenly she said that she had to go to California and yeah, she left––before I could even say a word. I have never met her since then, even though I'm now living in California.”
“Wow, and it was Christmas?” I nodded.
“That’s funny because Jake was also gone on Christmas. He said that he loved me on Christmas eve. He came to my house and gave me a present. He confessed and I said that maybe I loved him too but I was not ready. I could see that he was happy hearing that when he entered his car to go back home. And, yeah, he got a car accident that night, it was Christmas.”
“Oh, really, Christmas? The girl I had a crush on back then in Australia, she also left on Christmas,” I laughed a little.
“No way!” she also laughed. “What’s wrong with Christmas? They said that it was the best time of the year. In fact, our dearest ones left us on Christmas. How funny!”
We both laughed realizing that we had the same story––past heartbreaks on Christmas. Was it a coincidence? Well, I didn’t care. I was glad that I found someone who experienced quite similar things as I did. Moreover, I was so happy knowing that I could finally tell my story––my past, to someone. To be precise, someone I just knew yesterday.
As we spent almost an hour to tell each other our past, we sat by the edge of the cliff where I parked my car. The sun slowly set as time went by. It was almost 6 when the skies were getting redder. I could see people starting to gather at the beach to watch the sunset from afar. Another reason why I preferred to enjoy Santa Cruz beach from this cliff was because I could see a bigger picture––not only the beach itself but also the people and things they did while enjoying this beautiful scenery. Indeed, Silicon Valley itself was more than enough for your week and Santa Cruz really knew how to release your stress and complexity you faced in your daily life as a person who lived in the most high-tech region in the world.
“Do you know what I like to do to release my stress when I come here all alone?” I asked Alex. I could see her wonderstruck by the scenery at Santa Cruz that day. She shook her head.
“I shout out loud,” I laughed, “believe me or not, people down there will hear the echo. Meanwhile, here I am. Usually I can see their confusion on where that echo came from.”
Alex laughed, “Seriously? What words do you usually shout?”
“Umm… depends. I remember one day I shouted ‘f*** the boss!!!’, another day I shouted ‘I miss you, Sydney!!!’, and the last time I went here, I shouted ‘I hate you Camarade Pizza!!!’ because I ordered Camarade but it never came to my apartment. Silly things but it helped me to release my emotions,” I said.
She laughed, but this time a bit louder, “That’s silly yet interesting! I want to try!”
“Do it!” I said to her.
“You go first! You are the one who knows how to play it.”
“Ummm.. let me think of the words first.” I was thinking for a while. Then I shouted, “YOU LEFT ME FOR NO REASON, ALICIA!!!” I laughed and said, “It was so relieving. Now your turn.”
Alex took a deep breath, “I HATE YOU BEN!!!” and she shouted again, “I MISS YOU JAKE!!!” She was gasping for breath, but then she smiled, “You’re right, it’s very relieving!”
We both laughed after that as the skies were turning red. The sun slowly set as we decided to go back to reality, to Silicon Valley.
It was a well-spent day with Alex, the girl I just met last night at the company party who later became a friend of mine––the only person in Silicon Valley I told about my past, both in Sydney and New York. I never thought that I would meet a person like her, especially in Silicon Valley where people were too ambitious pursuing their dreams and targets. Moreover, apparently we experienced almost similar things––the memories and all the pain left in it. I finally found a friend.
It was almost 7 when we finally arrived at Alex’s apartment. Her apartment was just 3 blocks away from mine. She grabbed her bag and said, “Logan, thanks a lot for today. I had so much fun. Thank you!” She smiled before she opened the car’s door.
I opened my car’s window to say goodbye to her and smiled, “You’re welcome. See you at the office.”
She just smiled as she walked away from my car. I took a deep breath, it really was a nice day.
“Logan!” she turned around for a second and I looked at her, “drive safe!” she smiled and then she left. I smiled as I remembered how she regretted the last time she didn’t say so to a boy named Jake, her almost-lover best friend whom she missed the most.
***
“All these thoughts I have in my head got me blinded from the sunset,
I’m trying hard to stop the rain cause smiling doesn’t feel the same,
I just called to tell you, “Drive safe.”
Will I see you in the morning?
Cause I just wanna feel your touch, cause I don’t think I had enough.”
***
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